Scam Calls and Suspicious Texts: A Calm Talk With Your Parent

Many families worry about scams targeting older adults. A call claiming a grandchild is in trouble. A text about a suspicious bank charge. An email saying a package is waiting. Anyone can be targeted, regardless of age or intelligence. Scammers rely on surprise, fear, and urgency.

Talking about scams with an aging parent works best when it feels like teamwork rather than a warning. The goal is to help them feel confident and in control, not frightened or embarrassed.

Start as a partner, not a lecturer

Open with something you have experienced yourself. "I got a text the other day pretending to be from my bank. It looked so real." Sharing your own experiences makes the topic normal and puts you on the same side.

Ask what they have noticed. Many people already receive suspicious calls and messages. Your parent may have handled some well. Acknowledge that.

Know common warning signs

The Federal Trade Commission explains how to recognize and avoid scams. Common signs include:

• Pressure to act immediately
• Requests to pay with gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency, or payment apps
• Being told to keep the call secret from family
• Claims to be from a government agency, bank, or tech company
• Unexpected prizes, refunds, or problems with an account

Talk through these together. You might look up examples on the FTC site so you are both seeing the same information.

Create a family pause rule

A simple agreement can help in the moment. For example: "If anyone asks for money or personal information by phone, text, or email, we hang up and call each other first." The pause gives time to think. It also gives your parent permission to end a call without feeling rude.

Practice what to say

It helps to have a ready phrase. "I do not handle that by phone. I will call the number on my card." Saying it out loud a few times can make it easier to use when the pressure is real.

Make verification easy

Encourage your parent to contact organizations using a number they find themselves, such as one on a bank card or official statement, rather than a number provided by a caller or message. Keep a short list of important numbers near the phone.

A sample family scam plan

Here is an example you can adapt with your parent.

• Pause rule: No money or personal information shared without calling a family member first.
• Go-to phrase: "I will call you back at the number I have."
• Trusted numbers: Bank, pharmacy, doctor, family members, written on one card by the phone
• If something happened: Call family, then the bank. Report it.
• No shame: Scams fool smart people. We handle it together.

If something does happen

If your parent shares money or information with a scammer, act quickly and without blame. Contact their bank or card company. The FTC accepts fraud reports at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. Shame can stop people from telling family, so make it clear that reporting is the smart and brave choice.